The ability to defend oneself is an idea that gets put on the back burner for most women. Because of this lack of urgency to learn such a valuable skill that could literally save their life, there tends to be a lot of myths about the concept of human attack and self defense.
In my many years of teaching women who are brand new to learning self defense against a bigger and stronger person; I will inevitably witness many ‘aha’ moments during their training. This is always my favorite part about teaching because once you start training you will soon realize how much you don’t know. Oftentimes you realize that your natural tendency to freak out, start flailing your arms and legs, or even punch the attacker in the face will not get you out of a devastating strangle hold or grab, it only gets you more deeply stuck.
On one side of the coin of self defense you have physical training, which includes developing a skill set. This is obviously the most important part of self defense. But the other side of the coin that constantly gets overlooked is the mindset behind defending yourself. Ignoring the mindset side of the self defense coin has catastrophic consequences. Your mindset includes your beliefs, your personal boundaries, and your ability to stay calm in chaotic situations.
Here are 3 common myths women have about attacks and self defense.
Myth #1: The ‘attacker’ will look crazy and sketchy
We’ve all pictured it. A big guy dressed in all black, black hood on, and we can’t see his face with obvious body language full of bad intentions. We think this person will walk right up to us and corner us, rob us, or even worse. We think we will be able to spot this person immediately and get away. We think, “oh that wouldn’t happen to me, it happens to other people, I’m aware”
Here’s the truth. The person who ultimately decides that today’s your unlucky day will fit right in with the crowd. This person oftentimes looks like your everyday guy or girl. They have a warm or charming smile. They might even make direct eye contact and set you up with a seemingly innocent question to get you to lower your defenses. Most con artists and dangerous people have perfected the art of looking quite normal.
Although life would be much easier if we could spot a dangerous person by simply looking at obvious signs of sketchiness, the signs you need to pay attention to will be much more subtle than that. When someone is up to something harmful, you need to look for these indistinct signs:
- Indiscriminate stalking. The person will not directly walk towards you or behind you. Instead, they will walk more of a circular pattern pretending to wander so that you don’t think they’re watching you.
- Touching the face or body
Myth #2: The “attacker” is some stranger you don’t know or have never seen
Nonfatal violent attacks by a known assailant is on the rise according to the US Department of Justice in a Special Report spanning 17 years of data, it appears that more than 60% of the time, you will know who your assailant is a violent attack.
Watch for the warning signs of potential people who could manipulate your trust:
- Overly charming and giving excessive praise
- Moving the friendship or relationship too fast
- An extraordinary interest in wanting to be your child’s “friend” or caretaker
- After they have established your trust, they slowly demean and condescend you over time
Myth #3: “I’ll just kick them in the nuts!”
Admittedly, I agree, that if ANYTHING, you should go with the 7 strike method for defending oneself. You HAVE to fight back and fight back hard if you want you and your loved ones to make it out alive and free.
However there is 2 glaring missing pieces:
- What if you can’t use your arms and legs to strike?
- Your strikes will likely not be strong enough to overpower your opponent
Your opponent will undoubtedly grab you and attempt restrain you and pin you
Strike methods do not teach you how to get out of common chokes, headlocks, pins, & sexual assaults when pinned on your back
The ONLY martial art that will teach you how to escape the most common attacks and subdue your opponent or run away is Jiu Jitsu.
Striking your attacker with knees, groin hits, eye jabs is certainly recommended and I teach this in all my seminars BUT it will not end a street fight with a larger opponent. Striking only buys you time and softens your opponent so that you can subdue and find a way to escape. Remember, they can hit you too. Can you safely bet that you can deliver a knockout punch, or that they will back down from your repeated eye jabs? What will you do when your hands are pinned to the floor and someone twice your size is sitting on your chest?
I don’t mean to scare you with “what ifs” and terrify you into locking yourself up in your house all day, however this highlights the stark reality on the streets when there are no rules and its life or death.
This is why I highly recommend that if you’re serious about your personal safety, you find a jiu jitsu academy in your area that fits your needs
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